I’m gonna make you wear a little dress and hurt you

Okay, this is going to be a tedious factual update because things to write about are piling up and I, quite frankly, can’t be arsed to explain them all in detail but at the same time, I don’t want to miss out on anything. I know that the detail I go into is mostly unnecessary but it’s the way I’m programmed so meh. MEH.

So… when did I last post actually… okay, well I’m getting an email on Friday about Electric Picnic, and what’s going on for that. Actually, I suppose it’s only been 3 days since I updated, so not that much has happened. But I’m sure there’s shitloads I meant to write about that I forget.

I had a job interview today with a big multinational company (don’t know if I can say who, isn’t that exciting!), went proper well I thought. Actually, that’s what I’ve been doing the whole week… Oh yeah, I remember what’s happened since Sunday now! On Monday, I was awoken by a text from the lovely Kirsten (does she ever not get a mention? We should just bum and be done with it) at about 11am, so I got up, got the house phone, and rang Dell. Bear (bare?) with me, it makes sense. My computer’s been cocked for the past while, but I’ve always been up too late or can’t be arsed to ring them, but I thought, fuck it, I’m awake now. This is the unnecessary detail I was talking about. So anyway, 3 hours and €59.99 later, it’s fixed. I then decided to job hunt for the craic (read: went on jobs.ie while still in bed). I found two jobs that looked promising, one for an IT tech support team, and one just answering calls. Long story short, I got a good few call backs from the IT one throughout the day, sending CVs, doing tech tests online, etc etc. and an interview was organised for today. I also got a call back from the answering calls one, which is actually a 2 month temporary contract, but does pay better and is easier to get to. They also have a 7 month data entry role available, but that sounds hella boring. I have an interview with them on Friday at 14:00. Don’t stalk me, I just need to write it down so I remember.

So, interview today! Had to meet with the recruitment agency first, so was up at 7am this morning. Dressed proper nice, my whole outfit cost a grand total of about €15 (skirt was €3 from a charity shop, top was €2 from an M&S sale and shoes were about €10 I think) but I looked well professional and growed up. So yeah, met with recruitment woman at 9:30 and went through some stuff with her. I get a bit… I dunno, awkward when people ask me if I’m nervous. She kept asking, and I was like… nope, sorry, still not nervous. It’s a job that I’m genuinely interested in and have the know-how for so I had no reason to be nervous because I wasn’t bullshitting. Anyway, managed to miss the bus out to the actual building, misheard the time, so I had to get a different bus and then a taxi out. Silly. Anyway, was just on time at 12:00 and the day began. There were about 10 other people there, and we were brought into a room wayyyy the other end of the building. It is seriously a big fuck off building, the size of at LEAST two colleges. We had to complete a written tech test (that made me laugh). It wasn’t hella easy but it was fine. Then people were brought off individually for a one-on-one interview thing. That went fine again, the guy saying that it’s okay to be nervous, me pretending to be slightly nervous to appear normal. The chap was well nice and I think it went well. Then there was a role play, where you have to take a mock call. Another guy kinda prepped me for it but basically you’re left to your own devices, probably just to see how naturally you’d deal with it. I was told to write a report, so I asked lots of questions about what the report should contain and the answer that I got basically was “just write a report”. So the chap fecked off anyway and called me. He opened MS Word and he’s trying to type but nothing’s coming up on the screen. I was caught off guard because the phone rang before I had the headset on so the first thing I thought to ask was about the NUM lock. Then I gathered myself, and asked if the cursor line thingy was flashing on the screen (what is the name for that? I think I just said “cursor line” with confidence so he wouldn’t question my terminology), and he said it was. I asked if it was just in Word that the problem was, or could he not type anywhere. He couldn’t type anywhere. Is the keyboard connected securely at the back? Yes. Have you restarted since the problem occurred? Yes, problem’s still there. Right. I don’t know how to solve it. Once you don’t know how to solve it, you just need to tell the person that you’re going to “escalate” the problem, which means you’ll look into it or pass it on and get back to them. He tried to scarper off the phone but I needed to ask him for his contact details. He had said he was John Smith from the London offices, but he gave an Irish mobile number, with one digit missing. I told him he was missing a number, and he said no, that’s his number. I called it out to him again and told him he was missing a number. No, that’s his number. Right… do you have a landline number I can contact you on? I thanked him and ended the call. Then he came up to me to ask me how I thought it went. I said that I thought it was grand, and he said “grand?” and was trying to stifle a laugh. Now, I have no idea what the hell he was laughing at, but he was trying not to laugh the whole time I was speaking to him after that. I asked him if I’d done something wrong and he said he couldn’t say how I did, but no I hadn’t done anything wrong. Still, he was trying not to laugh. I told him he was making me suspicious but he just kinda laughed and left me to finish the report. I’ve no idea what that was about! Maybe the phone number thing, but it’s really not that amusing… Anyway, that was the end of that and we could leave. Must mention though that the coordinator of the thing was a smallish, petite guy who reminded me of Jonatton Yeah? from Nathan Barley so much that I actually full on laughed to myself on a few occasions. He was proper dry and just not realising how funny he was because he seems like a bit of a prick. I actually want to be his friend so bad, I’d say he is proper catty in the best possible way. I need more friends like that. I so wish I could say his name, but I kinda want a job so I won’t. Suffice it to say, it is proper special. Kirsten, if you’re reading this, remind me to tell you. It’s actual win.

So then we headed home, 4 of us got the bus into town. Was talking to an Austrian guy on the way out, he was well hot and seemed really nice, and then another guy while waiting for/on the bus. I just realised I don’t know any of their names. Hahaha, I win. The chap I was talking to on the bus said he liked my tattoo on my neck and we got talking about tattoo places in town. I’ve got both mine done in Zulu, but he said he got his in… something Ink I think, also in Temple Bar. Right, I can continue my paragraph below now and it’ll make sense. Yeah, and then he was saying he did a philosophy course in college, and we talked a bit about philosophy even though I know fuck all. He said that I’d proper get on with philosophy people, which I took as a compliment. We talked a bit about The Secret and about how it’s absolute bollocks. People automatically assume that when I bring it up, I think that the concept is stupid. Not so; from what I understand, they’ve basically written a book about how I live my life. What I think is ridiculous, and frankly, what pisses me off is that I don’t believe that you can read about that way of life and then automatically think that way. I went through absolute shit (yes, I’m a privileged fuck, but it doesn’t mean I’m right in the head) to get to where I am today, happiness-wise and how I live my life-wise (ARTICULACY FAIL) and I don’t think there is a shortcut to having this mentality. It’s phony. And how the fuck do you know that that is the right way of life for you? In theory it’s fucking awesome, but in theory neon pink hair is awesome, but does it suit everyone? No, of course not. And you don’t want to go and do something so drastic as bleaching your hair of all colour and then dying it something so vivid and striking just to “try it out”. You dabble a bit first, test things yourself, etc. Don’t just take someone else’s advice on the matter. ANALOGIES SUCK AT 2:30. So yeah. Anyway. Can’t remember what the point of that was. Right, onto the next paragraph finally.

Anyway, the most obvious thing to include in the update is that I’m getting a tattoo tomorrow (well, today, since it’s 1:43 at this moment in time). The wonderous bbkf done the design of it, for which I am forever greatful (or am I grateful?) and will do a sex on her as soon as possible. She may prefer alcohol, but that’s how I roll. I went to Zulu tattoo in Temple Bar only to find that it was closed for the day, for some unknown reason. I wanted to get a rough price, even though I didn’t have the design with me, so I just wanted to find somewhere. Actually, know what, it’s too awkward leaving gaps in this, I’ll do another paragraph above about what I was doing earlier in the day and I’ll be able to talk proper. And I’m so leaving this explanatory bit in for the craic, coz it’ll probs mess with your head. Okay backers! That took shit long, and was possibly 2 or 3 paragraphs instead of 1. So yeah, then I went to the Classic Ink place that the bus chap got his done, but I really didn’t like the look of it, so I didn’t go in. There is the most absolutely amazing vintage shop right across from it though and everything’s proper affordable. Once I get money, I’m telling you… So yeah, then I was gonna go get the bus, but I was walking past Cafe Irie (sexual noodles in there) and it said that there’s a tattoo place up the top. I had always thought that Cafe Irie was the highest point in that little complex thing (it ain’t a complex, but I can’t think of what else to call it) but once I got to Cafe Irie, there are actually stairs going up again that I have never seen before even though they’re blatent, and I eat there pretty often. I heard the reassuring buzz of needles, so I went up. It was proper my kind of place, all cute and relaxed and homely. I was talking to the chap who is either American or Canadian, asking him all loads of questions, and it made me all excited! You need a deposit to book, which I didn’t have on me because I in fact have fuck all money, but I’ll get into that in a minute, so he said to come back at 12:00 tomorrow coz they shouldn’t be busy. So Leonie’s coming with me and yay!

Right, moneywise. I had €100 in a joint EBS account with my mother, which I’ve now cashed in to pay for the tattoo. I have €8 in my bank account, and about £18 for London. I need to see about getting an overdraft for London because I have to give my friend £12.50 for the Boosh ticket which leaves me with £5.50. I don’t even have my Oyster card topped up. Silly silly! I will defo see about getting an overdraft though because I’ll be paid for Electric Picnic literally a few days after I’m back from London so I won’t be getting myself into silly debt.

Do you think that’s long enough for a short blog? I absolutely fail at life.

I’m still reading The Liar, I’m charging my mp3 player downstairs and hoping that it doesn’t overheat, and really hoping to sleep soon.

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2 Responses to “I’m gonna make you wear a little dress and hurt you”

  1. BabyD Says:

    Can’t believe yet again this isn’t devoted to me.

  2. Sally Says:

    That makes me want to write this comment as a blog and ramble on forever, but I shan’t. Can’t believe I didn’t know you lot did these!
    So here is my comments for all of them so far.
    very glad all your debt is sorted for now!
    That dream you had made me laugh
    Think the headaches have stopped now?
    I love them shoes!
    That bloke that was laughing at you at the job interview was just in love with you
    Sounds nice is nasty picture, I love it

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